Gulianna left yesterday afternoon to stay with Grandma Cherrie. She's staying til Sunday! She's only left me once...and that was after Isabella was born, actually when she was one week old. Gulianna was 17.5 months old back then, and I missed her so much, I think she was only gone for one day, Rene came to pick her up and she stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. This was back when we lived in Rigby, look how small she is!
Any way...I think having 3 kids in a short amount of time as finally caught up to me. I have always been fine and handled them well, what else do you do, you take care of them and take one day at a time! These past couple weeks I have felt overwhelmed, not with just my kids though...just life in general. Wanting to have a place of my own, wanting to move, wanting to be settled already. I absolutely hate renting. Even though I feel organized here in this house, minus the basement of scrapbook stuff and other misc stuff that I need to get rid of...I want a permanent home. To have space and enough bedrooms and to have our own home.
Ever since we were married, I always thought that we would live in Driggs forever. That we would build our dream home and raise our kids where we were raised. All our family would live there and we could stop in whenever and visit, and just always be close. I never thought that we would all move away. I never thought that we would finally have kids and then have to move away from my parents. It's hard enough not to be around them more. I think back to when my parents decided that it was time to move from California back to Idaho. They wanted what was best for their children. They wanted to raise us in a safe community. I think back now and wonder how hard it was for them and for my grand parents, especially my Grandma to know that we would be states away and only visit a couple times a year. It was hard, but it was for the best. They made the best decision for our family.
And now Levi and I feel that we are at that point. Well we have been for years...but we know where we want to settle. It has been hard to listen. I remember sitting down a year ago with Levi and Jeremy and Amy, and how we were going to look at homes down in Sanpete County. I didn't want to go...I didn't want to move again. Further away than we already are. But ask me now, and I am more than ready. We are moving to Spring City, which is an hour and a half away. But it's only and hour and half. That is the same distance from Driggs to Idaho Falls, and coincidentally it looks just like Teton Valley, but bigger, more little towns, and of course without the Tetons. {It is how Driggs used to be, when we first moved there.} It feels like home when we drive down there. Peaceful. And that is where we want to be. Of course I don't know when...only time will tell. Whenever a house decides to call our name!
Back to Gulianna leaving us...she has been acting up the past week. Same with Isa, it's amazing what they can get into when they are together! Gulianna has taken upon some bad behavior from one of her friends that I was watching...of course she is an only child, and I've had to sit down and talk with Gulianna countless times that she doesn't always get her way. She's always known that, but lately she thinks she can! {I'm not implying that if you have an only child that they are bad...you know what I'm talking about!} The other night we went grocery shopping at Smith's, which is always fun, because I have more kids than room for food in the shopping cart! Luckily they have lots of carts with the little car in front...so the girls will sit there, and Anthony sits on the seat in the shopping cart. But this time, they were fighting so much, and their new thing is to sit with one leg out and let it drag, which makes it harder to push. So I had to separate them, Gulianna got to sit in the car, Isa sat in the shopping cart and smashed all the food. Then Gulianna starts climbing on top of the car! I pulled her down and then she starts to kick me, which she's never done...{picked that up from her friend} and then through the biggest tantrum ever! So embarassing...I knew everyone's eyes were on me to see what I was going to do next. Levi always tells me to not spank our kids in public, all it takes is for one person to call in child services! But after 5 tantrums in a row, I couldn't take it anymore! When we got back in the car I called Levi to tell him how bad she was acting...and he said she can go stay with his mom for a couple days. So I told Gulianna that she was acting so bad, and being mean, fighting with her sister, that she gets to live with Grandma Cherrie! Then she starts crying and apologizing and saying she will be good...ha ha! I told her to get a Walmart bag and pack your clothes and get your pillow, I was kidding of course, but she took it seriously. So that's what she did when we got home! Then she was crying because her pillow wouldn't fit in the bag and she didn't know what she was going to do! I didn't know if I actually wanted her to go after all, but then we had another day of fighting and tantrums, so I figured why not! In the end she was happy to go, a little unsure at first, but she picked out what she wanted to take.
Of course the second we started to pack her things, Isa knew that she was leaving...and had her sad, pouty face on the whole time. "Why you leave nani!?" "Nani fight me" she kept saying. And it was even worse when she got in the car, she immediately started to cry and say "bye nani, I love you, bye nani, I love you" and then she would bury her head in my shoulder. Simply amazing I say...she hadn't even left her sight, and already she missed her! She's been sad, and missing her sister and her friend.
Of course I miss Gulianna too, I don't like it when I am away from her. I can handle a couple hours...because I know I will see her when I get home, but 4 days! This seems like forever, I've never wanted the days to pass by so quickly...and sure enough they are slower than slow, it's only 2pm! I'm going to take advantage and get things done that I've been wanting to do. The house is a lot cleaner because Gulianna isn't here to open the doors for Isabella. She still hasn't learned for herself, because Gulianna always just does it for her! I love my kids so much even though they drive me crazy at times! They are my best little friends!