It's been a couple weeks, maybe even three since we dropped off my computer and external hard drive to be fixed. My external hard drive hasn't been working properly for months now...and in the end it hasn't worked since we went camping in July. I should have known. I should have taken it in sooner. I should have just backed up my pictures like I had planned.
The past year I spent organizing all my pictures, down to years and months. Everything was already labelled down to the day. It makes me sick to still think about it, but I have finally let go...and if my files are able to be recovered it will be a real miracle.
Levi's uncle, who is always so awesome at working on our computers when something goes wrong, said he tried to recover my files and nothing was there.
Nothing was there.
If that doesn't make you instantly sick and make you want to throw up, then I don't know. Because that is how I felt. I immediately was furious and all I could see in my mind was every picture I have ever taken. Every little moment that I've captured...was so clear in my mind. Everything. You see, I take my camera everywhere. Everywhere! Levi gets so mad, and I'm sure my family members roll their eyes when they see me pull out my camera yet again. But it is something I've enjoyed, I want to remember all the little things. Because you tend to forget so much. And I take a lot of pictures. On average anywhere from 50-300+ just depending on what it is. Sure I have my photos here on this blog...but I can tell you that I haven't hardly shared anything that I would like too, mostly because it's our little moments and stuff that is precious to me. I think of everything that is lost and what kills me most is all my baby photos of my kids that I never printed. Millions...okay maybe thousands...it was a big task to get everything organized into files, then I was going to burn them onto cds. Seriously that was my next thing to do. But I knew that we were moving and so I decided to focus on selling the rest of my scrapbook inventory and getting ready to move. I told myself that I will have more time, once we move and get settled. I finally get to a place where I am organized in my scrapbooking and my photos, and now I can just sit and print my photos and scrap to my hearts content...and I have no pictures!!!! Furious. It makes me so mad. Sure I have my older photos...and up til March/maybe April of 2009 is burned on to a disc. Everything else could be gone. Most everything that I've ever wanted to scrapbook has happened in the last 3 years...my children and our memories that I've captured.
Why now...why....I like to say that it is not fair. But then again I am at fault for not backing up my files. That includes all the digital scrapbooking files that I bought and now I can't go back and download because they are expired. Go figure.
I remember getting the phone call from Levi saying that Darwin was unable to find my files. I immediately broke into tears and then couldn't stop crying. My girls were in the living room watching a show, and then came in to see what was wrong. They didn't know what to say. "Your pictures are gone mom? I'm super sorry." said Gulianna. Isa said "your 'puter' is broken, ohhhh, I'm sorry mom." With such love and compassion and such worry in their eyes, they know how much my pictures mean to me. It's almost has if I lost one of my kids.
Anyway Darwin tried and tried...he says he had another recovery program to try. But we haven't heard from him, I'm assuming that its because he hasn't had any luck. I could possibly take it to someone else...but this is an external hard drive...not a computer...the same thing happened to Jeremy but it was his computer...so I don't know. What am I willing to pay for my pictures? Anything...I would pay anything to have them back.
You've heard it a lot from your close family and friends...and maybe you've ignored them too like I have. Please don't, just go and back up your photos. Please, for me and everyone else that has lost theirs.
